before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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