i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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