I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
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Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
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it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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