Do vagina's smell?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
