So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Randomize
