omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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