He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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