check it out our google latitudes are spooning
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I lost the right to judge tonight
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
