apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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