I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
