i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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