How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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