Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Porn is love you can see.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize