I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
