it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I can't put those talents on a resume
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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