There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
