the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize