She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
