Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Yo dont text me then not text me
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
