I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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