I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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