you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Randomize
