I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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