...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
