Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
