Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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