She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
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