I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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