The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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