Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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