She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
