its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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