so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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