I can tuck mytits in my pants
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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