dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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