the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
