I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
