Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
