i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
