"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I'm too high and old for this...
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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