I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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