Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
17 year olds will be the death of me.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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