She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize
