I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
i dont even know how to be here
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
