I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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