Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
This is classic penis vs brain.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
