How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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