just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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