She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
