forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I feel like a drive thru vagina
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
