She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
