I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
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