yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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