your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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