all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
