Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Randomize