you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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