You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
drinking out of a sandbucket again
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
The Olympian is in my bed
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