i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize