I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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