Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
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