Sponge bath it is.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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