How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
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