we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
