She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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