DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
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When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
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He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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